Englische Nicks

April 14th, 2009 | Tags: , , , , ,

* Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can’t remember
* Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
* Marriage is not like war: You sleep with the enemy
* Don’t lead me to temptation… I can find it by myself
* A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
* The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
* Bad Spellers Untie!
* You must master your joystick, as a fisherman masters bait
* Those who know do not say, those who say do not know
* The road to success is always under construction
* I’m looking forward to regretting this
* ‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is
* Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us…
* Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I’ve yet to figure out why
* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
* When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
* I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
* If you’re going my way, I’ll walk with you.
* A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey’s monkey!
* Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
* §omewhere There’§ §omeone Who Dream§ Of Your §mile, And Find§ In Your Pre§ence That Life I§ Worth While, §o When You Are Lonely, Remember It’s True: §omebody, §omewhere Is Thinking Of You
* Never start frowning because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile :-)
* Well if I called the wrong numba, whyd you answer ?
* There’s a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it’s not a train.
* It’s not the size of the dog, It’s the size of the fight in the dog!
* Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!
* YOU laugh because i m different i laugh because you’re all the same. ! hehehe
* To the world your just one person but to one person you could mean the world
* whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?
* Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you I was doing great, but then I ran out of stars
* Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back
* Do u believe in love at first site? or should i walk by again? Or should I bite?
* Would you catch me if i fall.do you even notice me…at all?
* DONT wish UPON A STAR REACH FOR ONE
* God created men first, cause you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
* Ti’s better to let someone think you are an Idiott than to open your mouth and prove it
* I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh,But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry
* Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened
* If u needs space join NASA baby!
* Dream as if you’ll live forever…Live as if you’ll die
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
* Unite against togetherness!
* Reality Sucks! I’m Gonna Keep On Dreamin
* No fear! (NAME) is here!
* I Don’t Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me
* Life’s a bitch. Be its pimp
* I’m better than normal, I’m abnormal!
* A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts
* Save a tree, eat a beaver
* By the time you read this, you’ve already read it
* Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
* Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it a hundred times
* I don’t curse, drink and smoke. H*ly shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!
* Dont steal, the government hates competition
* If you hate me, i love you too. It ain’t my fault i’m better than you
* Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
* The higher you are, the farther you fall
* Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
* When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
* What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
* I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
* Not me, not now, maybe later…
* Life’s a beach… Surf it up!
* Trying is the first step towards failure
* I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
* If it is tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
* Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but milk do?
* Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
* I’m more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
* When I’m good I’m very good but when I’m bad I’m better
* To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life’s problems
* WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? … Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i’LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
* I avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it
* I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
* Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
* Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
* Gravity always wins
* The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
* There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
* I’m not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
* Buy land, they have quit making it!
* Don’t judge a man by his boxers, it’s what’s inside that counts
* I’m not suffering from insanity, I’m enjoying every minute of it
* Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
* Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
* Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
* Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
* What happens if you get scared half to death… twice?
* Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re up too..
* Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
* Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most
* If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
* I don’t have to be careful, I’ve got a gun
* Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
* Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
* Statistics are used by people who have no proof
* Divorce: from the Latin word meaning “to rip a man’s heart out through his wallet”
* You’ll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
* If you act crazy all your life, they’ll never be able to commit you
* In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
* Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop
* I like to con and insult people, that’s why I chose to become a Consultant
* Mental Health is overrated
* Be The Change You Wish To See
* All generalizations are false
* A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
* This isn’t school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
* The funny thing about Common sense is that it’s not very common
* Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
* Next week there can’t be any crisis. My schedule is full already
* War does not determine who is right… but who is left
* If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
* If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
* In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
* I can’t wait to see how you look when I’m naked
* Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights do make a left
* 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
* You can better lose a lover than love a loser
* I’m only crazy when other people cant stand that I’m right
* Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
* Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one
* Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
* Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
* Be back later…my dog ate my car keys….we are hitchhiking to the vet’s office
* We came, we saw, we drank beer
* Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
* You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
* Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
* Don’t drink and drive. You might spill your beer
* Save water, drink beer
* Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
* People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do
* Conserve water, drink beer
* The rich get richer and the poor get children
* Don’t breed them if you can’t feed them

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